Thursday, March 31, 2011

Someone like me

"If i told you things i did before
told you how i used to be
would you go along with someone like me
if you knew my story word for word
had all of my history
would you go along with someone like me?"

I love those lyrics from the song Young Folks by The Kooks. My past isn't squeaky clean. I go to a christian high school were people judge...majorly. I think that's why I've become such good friends with my group of girls. They accept me for who I am. They know all about my past and have actually managed to change me for the better. Who would of thought I would of preferred a fun night sitting around a table talking with my friends over a night of partying the night away. Do I miss my old ways? No, never thought I would say this but I'm glad I've moved on. Whether I convince them to camp outside in the middle of April or go swimming in a private pool in the middle of the night(not saying that happened or anything).

They have learned that I march to the beat of a different drummer.

They even change their names for me at Starbucks! Being random makes life interesting.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Living here and there

I love thinking about the future and where it might take me. I will most likely end up back in good ole' Wisconsin. Hopefully I will of lived in some other place and gotten it out of my system already! I plan on being a neonatal nurse. So wherever there are hospitals I have a chance of getting a job...hopefully.I'll be happy wherever God takes me but here are a few places that I hope to end up least until I'm married. Wouldn't want to raise kids in 2/3 places.

New York, NY
I seriously love the big city! I once vacationed in NYC and fell in love. I'm guessing visiting vs. living is completely different. The thing is every time I go to a big city I feel at home. I love walking to places and every corner you turn is something new. Delis, restaurants, clothing stores...everything is near by!

  • Fits in with my love of the big city
  • Plenty of hospitals!
  • My best friends dad works and lives in NYC. He is like a 2nd dad to me. So I will at least know someone!
  • Lots of diversity with food, culture, etc.
  • It's a BIG city!
  • Living there is expensive
  • Not close to home
  • Scary driving!
  • Not very kid friendly
  • Big city dangers
Denver/Colorado Springs, CO
I've spent multiple summers in Colorado. Specifically Aurora, Denver, Estes Park, Steamboat Springs, and Colorado Springs. I love how it gets HOT in the summer and gets TONS of snow in the winter. It's big but yet not as big as NYC. My dad once lived there and liked it.

  • Weather that I can live with
  • So close to the mountains that I love.
  • I know people that live there and actually have found a church I love. Not kidding about spending multiple summers there.
  • Far away from home
  • High elevations= headaches for me
  • Known for having droughts
Chicago, IL
I have visited Chicago multiple times. It's a lot like NYC but smaller. I enjoy the environment and once again the big city appeal!

  • Not as crazy as NYC but still the big city feel
  • Close to home. Only 4 hours away
  • I have family in Chicago
  • Beautiful shore line
  • Apparently has a great night life....not that I care or anything
  • Expensive
  • I don't exactly like my family that live there
  • LONG winters next to the shoreline
  • Big city dangers
  • High sales tax...might effect shopping

Monday, March 28, 2011

Rambling On and on and on.....

I forgot about my reading assignment and the test on Monday on Pride and Prejudice. So I quickly glanced over spark notes and took a quick quiz that they had on the site. The next day when I had to take the test on the book...guess what the test looked like? It was identical to the one I had just taken on spark notes! Apparently my teachers cuts corners too! I'm almost positive I passed that test!

Softball has started and man do we run a lot! We have to practice in our small gym because our field is covered in snow. Hopefully this running like crazy stops once we get outside! Other then that Im excited about this season. Well actually I'll tell you how excited I am about the season after we have our first game. I could either be on the bench or actually get to play.

Summer is finally within sight! If you can look beyond the snow piles and freezing weather that is. I love this time of year. When everybody starts getting excited about summer, teachers are more laid back, warmer weather is within reach, and I can start planning my summer.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Madison and a brain surgeon.

Spring break went way to fast! I would love another week off. I didn't accomplish much. I was suppose to finish reading Pride and Prejudice for Monday. About 3 hours ago I remembered and decided spark notes would have to do. Reading 120 pages just wasn't happening.

On Friday my friend invited me on a last minute trip to Madison, WI. We left early on Saturday morning and stayed at her families friends house. They had a 1st grader and 10 month old baby that I couldn't keep my hands off! I love babies and she was so good. Not to mention adorable! We went shopping on State street and then offered to babysit so their mom could go out. She quickly took up the offer and even paid us $20 each! Was not expecting that.

Later that night they had friends over and my friends dad got wasted. I was so tired so my friend and I decided to go to bed early(if 11 is considered early). I got to sleep on the top bunk filled with scary stuffed animals! I haven't done that in years. I was afraid I was going to fall off though. Every hour my friend(who is a light sleeper and had lots on her mind) would wake me up and complain about something or another. The drunk adults didn't go to sleep till about 4am meaning I was up on and off till then.

At 6:30 the baby got up. My friend Katie doesn't exactly like babies so she handed me her. I wanted to sleep but having a baby to play with was an okay trade. I managed to do my hair, and put on make-up all while Lauren was playing her DS(and talking my ear off) sitting on the edge of the tub and the baby was on the counter playing with my cellphone. It made me think that this could be my life in about 10 years. Made me kind of giddy. I love the thought of having a family of my own.

Then at 8:30 we went to the children's hospital. My friend Katie had a brain tumor removed when she was 5 and wanted to meet her surgeon. When we arrived, he asked if we had eaten breakfast yet. After saying we hadn't he took us out to brunch at this fancy little cafe. He was so nice and answered any questions that we had. At the end he even insisted we order something from the bakery. I got a yummy blueberry scone! It was a very cool experience.

In the end it was a fun little trip. I got my baby fix, I didn't get any sleep, I went shopping in one of my favorite places, and got to meet an amazing surgeon that saved my friends life!

Not in the right place

My church is....boring. To say the least. My pastor tends to drag on, make stupid jokes, and literally people are praying that he would just hurry up.

My christian friends know how boring it is too. So if they sleepover on a Saturday night. They make sure they have plans to leave before we go to church. Just so they don't have to deal with it. I complain about having to go every Sunday!

Then there is my non-christian friend Katie. She is I guess considered my "bad" friend...sort of a rebel. She parties, drinks, and does everything else in the book. My Christan friends don't like her either.

Except she willingly comes over for bible study which is at my house. She calls me and says that she wants to join me at church today.

It got me thinking. Who really has the better heart? My "bad" friend who willingly goes to my boring church or my "good" christian friends who run at the thought of going to my church?

One is searching for something and the others have apparently found their own church. The church with a shorter sermon, and less boring pastor. I fit right in with my friends. Might be time to change that up.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Interesting Time

On Wednesday I got a horrible text from my friend Sarah. Normally I like Sarah. Consider her to be one of my best friends really. This text though was scary! She said " I'm bringing a bag full of stuff for our girly 12 year old like sleepover!" You see I never liked those kind of sleepovers. I ignored the fact and tried to convince myself she was kidding!


She walked into my house with tons of horrible, horrible things! Like a castle shaped cake pan, a karaoke machine, tons of nail polish, and all of her girly DVDs. Apparently she had more but we didn't get to them...shoot!

(Courtesy of google images) This is actually the cake pan!

She made me sing high school musical karaoke, watch some Disney Cinderella movie, and bake a cake! The cake didn't exactly turn out...every once in a while we would find a piece that somewhat resembled part of a castle though.

It wasn't that bad....we did lounge around in my moms old wind pants! Seriously, they were really comfortable but UGLY. I only wish these pants would be in style. I would actually wear them. Shhhh...don't tell anybody I said that! I would be made fun of to no end.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Finally I've found one

Why does it seem good guys are so hard to come by? At my school it's next to impossible to find a decent guy. They are all stuck up losers that literally rate girls on a scale. Lame. Then outside of school all they want is sex. The past few guys I've dated have told me they "love" me within the first week....second week took it a step further. Then I ditch him and end up single once again. Another guy tends to text me after I wear my yoga pants to school. He likes mentioning my ass...a lot!

But every once in a while a good guy shows up. How do I know he is a good guy you might ask?

Well he is my friends cousin. She gives him a thumbs up. I had met him a few times when I was younger but we never really talked. Then one night my friend Katie called me up and begged me to come over. She was babysitting and the baby wouldnt stop she was suffering from a hangover still. So I made my way over to her house in sweatpants, a volleyball t-shirt, my hair in the messy bun, and my make-up almost all off. I seriously was ready for bed when she called. Katie passed out on the couch and I tried soothing a 2 month old baby. Who liked spitting up constantly on me. I smelled horrible, looked horrible, and was getting annoyed. Then he walked inside the house. I recognized him from pictures. He kind of glanced at me. I was holding a swaddled baby and singing(hey it worked and she shut up). He smiled and walked into the kitchen to make a bowl of cereal.

Tell you the truth at this point I had no interest in this guy. I could of really cared less until I overheard a conversation he had with Katie's mom in the kitchen. He asked who I was. Then one day about a week later he texted me out of the blue. We have been texting back and forth for a few months. He uses big words(I seriously need a dictionary near me everytime we talk), he wants to be a photographer(has sent me pictures asking what I think about them), and I never get bored texting him. He seriously gives me hope that there are decent guys out there!

He lives in another state though. Next time we comes into town though I'll make sure to dress better and not smell like baby puke.

I bet he doesnt rate girls! Otherwise I would of been at the bottom of the list!

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Spring Break....Winter Break?

So my spring break has been more like winter break! We got tons of snow today. Hopefully this is the last of the snow for the year. I'm officially over the cold weather, snow, winter jackets, and shovels! Yuck.

Softball has started too. Who knows when we will get on our field though. Playing softball in the gym isn't the easiest. Lots of ducking and yelling goes on. It can get very entertaining at times! I don't mind though playing in the warm gym though. Better then freezing outside.

Also I've been on a smoothie kick recently. The smoothie maker has been going constantly at my house recently. If you have any good smoothie recipes I would love them! Mine have so far consisted of milk, vanilla ice cream, blueberries, bananas, and peaches! It has been turning out really good.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011


Have you ever noticed how dangerous playgrounds are!? I once loved running around and climbing all over those things. Recently I've realized that man, I wonder how many kids get killed on these things! Of course these days everything is plastic and much safer then back in the day. Must be because of those over-protective parents!

(courtesy of google images)
I remember getting burns on my legs because of those hot metal slides, falling off merry-go-rounds into wood chips, and those fireman poles! I've seen way to many 4 year olds dance on those things. Don't even get my started on the dangers of seesaws! I went flying off those. Those old tires didn't help one bit!

(courtesy of google images)

In the end all those burns, slivers, and grass stains were worth the memories I created!

Monday, March 21, 2011

My plans for spring break

This picture explains exactly what I plan on doing this spring break.
Absolutely nothing!

Saturday, March 19, 2011

My town

As much as I say I'm moving far away from my town as soon as I can. I know that I will end up back here eventually. I love the people, the strange traditions, the parties, and the memories that all 3 of those things create!Here is my short list of things I love about where I live. I'm sure there is tons of other reasons but I didn't have time to write them down.

  • Simple events turn into all night events!
My cousin asked my aunt if she could do something for her. My aunt said she would be not today because she was going to a funeral. My cousin of course understood that funerals aren't just funerals here. Her friend on the other hand was confused. Funerals normally about an hour or two! Not the entire day.The thing is a funeral here is an event where you drop the kids off at a relatives and pick them up the next morning. You party afterwards(In memory of this person of course!) and catch up with friends. When people ask how the funeral went all you have to say is "We ended up at Keith's(Old bar that is tradition to go to after EVERY event)" and they know it was a good time.

  • You cant go anywhere without running into someone you know
I don't think I have ever gone to the grocery store without running into a cousin, aunt, uncle, or friend. You stop chat for a while, continue shopping, and meet someone else!

  • You meet new relatives all the time
I was at the grocery store(go figure) and a lady came up to me and said I looked familiar. I have never seen this lady in my entire life! She then said "Are you a (My moms maiden name)!?" I said "Yes my mom is (maiden name). She then went on about how much i look like my mom and how she once held me at someones wedding a long time ago. She ended up being my moms cousin.

  • Family is important
Families tend to stick around. If they do end up leaving eventually they come back. I love having almost all of my moms siblings(6/10) live within 5 miles of me. Then the aunts, uncles, and cousins don't live that far either.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Recently in the News

So I like celebrities...actually I just like reading about their kids. I'm weird like that I must admit. A few of headlines are funny, stupid, and just plain strange. Here are a few of my favorite recently.

Billy Ray Cyrus: I called of my divorce
Yay! Finally a celebrity that realizes divorce isn't always the answer. Im not a fan of Billy Ray and his achy breaky heart or his crazy daughter but I'm glad to hear that he isn't getting a divorce. Maybe they can focus on their daughters problems now! Oh wait...salvia is a LEGAL drug so its not as bad!

Selena Gomez Doesn’t Dig Justin Bieber’s Growing Facial Hair
bahahahahaha! Oh this made me laugh so hard. Seriously, I don't see this kid growing any facial hair. Have you heard his voice? No boy with that voice has the ability to grow hair...any where! Moving on now...

Tiger Woods: Being a Single Dad is 'Tough'
How hard could it be when the majority of the time the kids are with nannies or their mom? He didn't have to be a single dad. He chose to mess around with other woman while married. I don't want to here his sob sorry. Oh Tiger Woods....all respect was lost.

It's Friday!
No explanation needed for this one...just watch the video

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Our animals

We've always had at least 1 animal since I could remember.

My first dog Pablo come around when I was about 1. My Mom went to the animal shelter with my aunt(who was looking for a dog). My Mom was against animals living in the house. She grew up on a farm and animals belonged in the barn. As she was walking past all the kennels this cocker spaniel caught her eye. The only one that wasn't barking or jumping up against the fence. 1 hour later she came home with a dog much to my dads surprise. A week later I grabbed Pablo's tongue. Literally grabbed it as my parents watched in horror. Pablo just sat their like he dealt with that sort of thing his entire life. They knew he was a permanent part of the family. I would throw things down the steps and Pablo would fetch them for me. He was apparently my partner in crime. He died when we was 14 years old. He was blind, and deaf but still as happy as ever.

My cat showed up about 8 years ago. His mom decided to have a liter of kittens under our porch. My sister and I would watch as the kittens came out to play. We begged to keep one but my mom was totally against it! One day we only saw 1 little black and white kitten playing. For about a week this was the only one we saw. It snowed one night and the next morning we saw the little kitten trying to get out from under the porch but barely able to see over the snow. My dad went outside and grabbed the little kitten. Boots has lived with us ever since! Perfect addition to the family.

Next came Kora. After the death of Pablo my mom was undecided about getting another dog. We went to look at the humane society and found an Australian cattle dog. She was so cute! We brought her home. She was a wild pup.

About 2 months after we got Kora my mom literally just drove past the humane society. She saw a guy drop off a kennel in front of the doors of the closed humane society. My mom decided to turn around and see if there was an animal inside. It was suppose to get really cold that night. Indeed their was a little black cocker spaniel. My mom placed the kennel in the car and drove home. Much to the surprise of us. Alastair(Alli) joined the family that day. He is a very lovable dog. Everyone loves him! Well except me but that's a different story.

I find it hilarious how we got the majority of our animals because of my mom. The one who claims that animals belong in a barn.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Whats in my purse

Today I decided to clean out my purse! I tend to do this frequently out of necessity. I throw tons of junk into my purse and after a few days it gets ridiculously messy! So here is what I found in my purse....

  • 3 Receipts from Starbucks, target, and karvana
  • A movie stub for "Just go with it"
  • My wallet(Has my license, $10, a Starbucks gift card, 2 of my school IDs, Blazer Softball card, and an old valentine from my friend Sarah)
  • A pen
  • Cellphone
  • Envelope with 3 tickets to the State game on Thursday!
  • 2 bottles of hand sanitizer(Smell like sea island cotton, and fresh rain)
  • Band-aids! I stole these from school...shhh
  • Ibuprofen bottle..with ibuprofen in it.
  • contact case
  • Warm Vanilla Sugar lotion
  • Random laffy taffy
  • ipod w/ headphones
  • pack of double mint gum
  • a few bobby pins, hair ties, and a head band
  • Small make-up case(has eye liner, mascara,2 lip glosses, chap stick, and a few more bobby pins!)
  • Magnet shaped like a car
  • Daytime flu on-the-go packet
  • and a few stray pieces of paper with no importance at all!
What's in your purse?

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

A little fast

Me: Aren't you going a little fast?
Katie: Oh wow I just noticed I was going 70mph!
Me: Yeah
Katie: I told you this road wasn't meant to be driven at a low 45mph
Me: Well the law sure thinks it is.
Katie: Going 80 now!
Me: Oh god I'm going to die. By the way you just passed my road.

A few days later...
Katie: See I told you my steering wheel shakes when I go past 90!
Rae: Oh yes I see...Im almost positive thats not a good thing!
Katie: Should I get that checked out?
Rae: How about we just slow down and you not drive 90!
Katie: Where's the fun in that?

Every time I get in the car with my friends I'm positive I'm not going to make it out alive!

Monday, March 14, 2011

Softball, basketball, spring break...and other random things

The boys team at my school is going to state again this year! I think they really have a shot at winning. Compared to last year they have gotten really good. There semi-final game is against the school they lost state to last year. That team lost a bunch of good players though! Hoping for a win!

I have school off on Thursday and Friday because of everybody going to Madison to watch the state game! I love that school got cancelled! Then spring break is next week! Seriously, I feel like I was celebrating New Years yesterday!

With spring break around the corner that means softball is about to start! We start practice the first day of spring break. Ive been excited about softball since the season ended last year. Just recently Ive started dreading softball. I hope my attitude towards it changes soon!

I just got $50 from a generous donor to go towards my Haiti fund! I get about a check a day from people. They always send sweet notes too! I was really surprised to open the envelope and see a check from $50 though. It beat my high record $30 from my hair cut lady. I'm so excited to be able to have this experience!

Sunday, March 13, 2011

English Class

School has been going decently well this semester! I don't feel stressed at all. It has actually gone very fast so far! I cant believe it's March already! Where has the time gone? I'm in tech ed this semester! I'm surprised that I haven't cut off a finger yet! Saw blades and Rae do not mix well! I have made a piggy bank so far(actually 2).

These pictures are from a laptop camera. My friend Chelsey's to be exact. She got bored in English class and decided to take a few pictures. These were the good ones! Some of them were really embarrassing!

I love Sarah(wearing the scarf thing) and Syd(red shirt). This picture doesn't exactly make them look the best. Oh and Sarah's looked like Malibu barbie when to Australia. I wish I would of gotten a full picture of the outfit. It was okay looking. Something Sarah would try!

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Bald is Beautiful

My school held a fundraiser called Shave for Shaef. All the money that was raised was going to a family that has kids that attend my school and the dad coaches soccer. His wife has breast cancer. It was a really neat experience seeing people come together for such a great cause! Our small school raised over $7000! That's a lot for a little school with about 120 kids.

People bid on participants heads. If they won the bidding they got to shave the persons head! 2 girls even got their heads shaved. Other girls that didn't want to become bald donated to Locks of Love. Almost all the guys in our school have no hair and the girls all have short hair! It's really funny to see.

Like I said even girls got their heads shaved!
First time without hair! Lots of tears shed...but happy tears. She was doing it for her friends mom! Girl with the braid is part of the family.

It was such a fun experince!

Friday, March 11, 2011

5 Question Friday

1. Do you know what your REAL hair color is?
Yes, it's a yucky light brown, red, blonde mix! I've been dying it for a while. Thinking of letting it go again all natural but Im not sure if Im ready!

2. Do you plan ahead for summer, or fly by the seat of your pants?
Most This summer I have plans to work, attend lifest, and go to haiti. I like not over-crowding my summers and having lots of free time!

3. What is your favorite meal to cook?
Ramen noodles or Mac & Cheese. Easy, fast, and I don't have to put any effort into it. I get very bored in the kitchen. So easy=good

4. Do you get offended by not receiving thank yous?
No, I sometimes don't even remember to send thank yous. So I don't feel bad at all when I never get one.

5. How did you meet your best friend?
Shannon- Church. We were fighting over a blue dinosaur
Katie- The school bus in Kindergarten.
Sarah, Syd, Elisebeth, and Chelsey- High school

Big Sister, Little Sister

Older sisters are so cool. I always wanted one. I'm jealous of girls that have them. They show the younger sisters the ropes of being a teenage girl. Make-up, clothes, hair, dances, boys, high school, and anything else!

Instead I get to be the oldest sister. Learning the ropes as I go and not having anybody to lead the way. Lucky for my sister she was blessed with an older sister(even though she doesn't consider me a blessing yet!) Showing her the ropes of being a girl. I get to deal with my clothes going missing and finding them in my sisters closet.

"If you don't understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child."
 ~Linda Sunshine

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

My strange school

My spanish teacher allows students to log into facebook at school for they can send her items for her "town" on facebook.

If you walk into the computer teachers class and interrupts his class. He will make you sing a song out loud in front of the class...or offer you a demerit.

Most schools have little pieces of paper known as hall passes that allow them to roam the halls. Well not roam but that's what I tend to do. My school has a plunger, old typewriter in a case, and a computer tower. I'm not even kidding. Ever walk out of a bathroom at school with a plunger in your hand? Or drag a giant typewriter through the halls? Your parents might of but it's not a common site in today's school...oh and it's really heavy!

Monday, March 7, 2011

The joys of leaving in the Frozen Tundra

These pictures were taken up north. We had about 8 snowmobiles running around the entire day. Then took a night ride! It was beautiful!!
*Im the one in the Pink and Brown Jacket*

 Snowmobiling is one of my favorite winter activities!

My little sister is the one in the middle!

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Things sports have taught me

  • How to undress/dress fast!
 Girls typically tend to chat with each other. They talk about how their day went, how much homework they have, and other girl things. Sometimes time just slips by. When you finally look at the clock you realized practice starts in less then 5 minutes! Late for practice= Lots of running

  • How to cram 10+ articles of clothing into your gym bag
May not seem like a lot but all the clothing is bulky! Multiple sweatshirts/jackets, a few long/short sleeved shirts, 2 pairs of sweatpants, shorts, cleats, 2 pairs of  tennis shoes, multiple pairs of socks, softball glove, batting gloves and lots more! Playing softball outside in Wisconsin means you have to be prepared for every kind of weather!

  • How to change clothing practically any where
Seat on a bus. Check. Random Hallway. Check. Boys/Girls locker room. Check. Dugout. Check. Softball Field. Check. Seriously, been there, done that!

  • How to sleep anywhere
Ever try sleeping on a bumpy school bus? Yea, not the most comfortable place to be. Except when you play sports and have lots of away games then you learn(Longest bus ride was 2 1/2 hours one way!) how to sleep comfortably. Use your gym bag as a pillow, toss the shoes off, place your feet on the seat next to you(or wherever is comfortable), turn on the i-pod, grab the blanket(another thing stuffed into your gym bag), and doze off until you get awaken by someone telling you it's time to go.

  • Your glove isn't the only place to catch softballs!
Inside joke that you wont be told about unless I feel like telling you about my embarrassing story! People still bring this up today!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

I've lived to tell the tale

*Warning: Many of you will shake your heads at all the things my parents allowed me to do. Others will say" Hey I did that too!" A few of you will say "Let kids be kids!" What ever your opinion is that's great! This is just how I feel*

People these days seem to be a lot more cautious with everything! Their kids cant play outside without supervision from an adult, no riding a bike without a helmet, and no sleepovers unless they know the family REALLY well! I'm sure parents are really looking out for their children but sometimes you just have to put it into Gods hands and let them go.

I think my parents bought me a bike helmet once. It's stored away in our garage. Never wore it once..and I bike a lot! I'm sure it has saved a few lives and some parents just cringe at the thought of kids not wearing helmets. I managed to survive many crashes on a bike...and lived to tell the tale.

I remember spending endless hours outside with my friends. My Mom worked at home, so she was always in her office with piles of paper. While her 6 year old was running around with the neighbor boys. Having sword fights with sticks, catching frogs from the pond in the woods near our house, and crossing the creek by walking over logs.

My cousin and I (We were about 7 and 11) would take the 4-wheeler down into the woods and spend hours watching crayfish. Climb into the haymow at the my Grandmas farm and swing from ropes connected to the rafters. I would even help milk cows!

Today I asked my mom "Why did you give me so much freedom as a little kid? I wouldn't let my kids do half the things you let me do!" She replied "You can either spend your life worrying about every little move your child makes or simply place them in Gods hands! That doesn't mean every time you walk out of this door that I don't worry. It just means I've learned I cant protect you from everything only your heavenly father can."

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

The truth is...

Telling people who I have a "crush" on has always been hard for me. For the simple reason that I had convinced myself I wasn't good enough for this person/he wouldn't ever want to date me. I didn't want people to see me get rejected so I just never shared.

Tell you the truth. My reason is a good/bad thing. I never do get the guy so it's easier moving on when nobody knew I even liked him. The bad thing is that my friends then have no clue. So if they started dating that guy I would have to watch as I felt rejected. They hurt me when they didn't even know/mean to. I've even trained myself to get over my little "crush" the minute I get discouraged. Which is not a good thing for future relationships!

The thing is I couldn't hide 1 crush that I've had since I was a little kid. He was one of my best friends when I was younger. As I got older I started liking him more then a friend. I would actually specifically pick out outfits when I was going to see him, blush when people would mention his name, and I bet there is a notebook out there with our names written together. Everybody asked if I liked him but I would flat out deny it. It was evident that I did but of course I felt that I couldn't tell anybody. Eventually people saw past that little lie and contantly bug me about it. I actually didn't mind people knowing...but myself still denying. Our parents even joked about us getting married.

He eventually moved away. Our parents kept in contact. We even flew out to see his family once. It was fun! We were both older, our parents trusted us alone(They love him!), and I could surprisingly actually talk with him. Oh and he got hot!

Then he got a girlfriend that was apparently serious. Everybody would ask how I felt about it. Added to my reasons on why I dont want to tell anybody who I like. It hurt hearing about this new girl.

So is not commenting about who I like hurting me and just decreasing my chances of ever dating someone in high school or is it okay not wanting my rejection to be known by everybody?

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Random Ramblings

  • Yesterday I went driving in an old corvair convertible with the top down. A guy in my tech ed class has been working on that car all year. Finally he tried starting the car today and it ran! He drove 6 girls around the school parking lot in 32 degree weather. That's Wisconsin for ya. We thought it was warm outside!

  • I have Friday off! My Mom has asked me to work at her consignment shop. Ill be missing out on sleeping in but I'm fine working for her. After hours of slaving away I will be heading off to a Skillet concert with my friends Sarah, Sydney, Steve, and Sarah's sister. I hope we have fun!

  • I'm debating whether or not I want to play softball this year. I really do love the sport but as the season approaches Ive been having second thoughts. I doubt I will get much playing time. I'm not very good at playing the game. Last season we lost a ton of games too. We lost a bunch of seniors that were good. I'm kind of sick of losing games and this year doesn't look very promising. Hopefully I decide soon.

  • I went through my closest yesterday. I got rid of tons of clothes that I have never worn and things that are to small. Seriously, this past summer I did the same thing and got rid of tons of clothes. My closest still looks full! Where do they keep coming from?! Oh wait....the shopping must stop!