Wednesday, November 13, 2013

How to get rid of your roommate

My roommate randomly moved out a few weeks ago. Ever since that occured people have been asking me how I did it! Apparently, a lot of people do not like there roommates and want the advice of the "master." So I am going to share my easy five step plan and I hope it works out well for you too!

(I'm assuming these steps work if your roommate is male too.)

1. Attempt to Talk With Her
I would say goodbye, hello, and what are your plans this weekend. Apparently, that was way to much conversing.

2. Ask Her to Turn Off the Lights at 3am
She would never sleep at night and then would sleep the entire day. I had classes in the morning and one night I got sick of being woken up constantly and I asked if she could turn off the overhead light. She moved out four days later.

3. Spend Six Hours in the Library Per Night.
It got to the point where I hated being in the same room as her. She wouldn't talk and she smelled bad. I would spend my entire night in the library and only come back to sleep around 1am. Maybe, she hated never knowing when I would return?

4. Clean Up After Her
She never took out the garbage. She never vacuumed. She never cleaned the bathroom. She never cleaned out the microwave. I must have drove her crazy, because I made sure our room did not look like a garbage dump! She must have felt out of her element.

5. Have More of a Social Life Than Her
I would go out with friends, friends would pick me up at my room,etc. She must have hated not having friends and decided to seclude herself even more.

In all seriousness I have no idea why Janine moved out. Three people have asked to move in with me since she has gone. So, I am clearly not the problem and she just had to work on some of her own issues alone.

Me: Janine moved out!
Mom: Did she go live with her own people?*

*My mom is not racist, but Janine was. That is why my mom made this comment.


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