Saturday, November 9, 2013


Emily: My mom wouldn't let my boyfriend spend the night, but she was fine with me spending the night at his house. She was like, "You can sin all you want just not in my house."
Danielle: Winona is a party school. They don't mention that in the brochure.

Prof: I once had a student that dressed up as a bee and got her picture in the newspaper. The article was titled, "Too Buzzed" and she spent the night in jail.
Scott: The highlight of my night was coming back to the dorms at the same time as our RA. She was just as hammered as I was. It was a real bonding moment.
Emily: I can't afford to drink! I drank an entire bottle of wine one day. That was worth $20 and all I had to show for it was a hangover and some bad decisions.
Prof: What do you plan on doing tomorrow?
Sarah: Studying!
Prof: Good answer! If that studying lands you in jail I have a little money set aside for your bail.
Danielle: I knew my professor wasn't going to be in her office, because her salamanders just arrived.
Rae: Wait, what?
Danielle: She needed their blood. Any way..
Rae: Of course she did.
Alyssa: I was driving my sister to the hospital. I mean I was driving her to the mall.
Rae: How do you even get those confused?

Emily: I can't believe she didn't try and stop me from saying yes to warm tuna! I was clearly in distress.

Conversation with my mom via text.

Mom: I found bunny ears in your car. Can I wear them for Halloween?
Me: Sure.
Mom: Why do you have playboy bunny ears in your car any way?
Me: Why did you ask to wear my playboy bunny ears?
Mom: That was suppose to be a joke.

Danielle: My favorite part was when we went bar hopping. (looks around the room) I'll tell you about that after bible study.

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