Friday, September 26, 2014

Rae's Driving School

Welcome to Rae's Driving School!

Warning: Please excuse the language that this driving school instructor tends to use. Sometimes you need to use profanity in order to get your point across.

This post was brought to you by all the asshole drivers that pissed me off today. I literally missed my two exits today, because people do not know how to drive. I hope you find this Driving School informative!

  1. Everyone knows that the "speed limit" is just a suggestion! You are not suppose to go 45mph when the speed limit signs says 45mph. You always need to go at least 5mph over the speed limit or people will get annoyed with you! 
  2. The left lane is for people that know how to drive properly! You do not know how to drive properly if you go the actual speed limit or don't know how to move over when a car is on your ass. It is that simple!
  3. When driving in the right lane you need to be aware of people that are signaling to get into your lane in order to exit. Missing an exit, because some asshole does not know how to make room, does not make for a happy driver. It is not our fault that you are stuck in the right lane, because you think that following the exact speed limit is the way to drive. Unfortunately, exits are on the right side of the road and our paths must cross. 
  4. Do not be that ridiculous person that is on their phone at a red light and does not notice that the light turned green a long time ago! I understanding check your phone while at a stop light but there is no need to update your twitter, facebook, and instagram at one stop light. Horns will be blown and fingers will be flashed if you try to pull this move.
  5. Buicks have the right to go slow, but cars that look like they should go fast, do not. If you decided to spend your money on a car with a lot of horsepower, you better be using it! Every cool point you got when you bought that car is gone when not used properly.
  6. Use your turn signal.  It is one of the easiest parts of driving and if you cannot handle that, you need to walk. I would say bike, but apparently bikes are suppose to use your arms for a turn signal.
  7. Turn off your brights when a car is heading towards you on the opposite lane. Easy enough? 
  8. Always wear your seat belt in a car and a helmet on a motorcycle. You know what we call people that don't follow this rule? Organ donors. 
I hope you learned a lot during this first installment of Rae's Driving School. These eight simple rules will help you determine if you are capable of driving or if you need to go back to your mother carpooling you around town. 

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