Tuesday, December 23, 2014


My lovely Grandmother arranged for a family dinner to occur after her death.
She knew the importance of family and family get togethers seem to occur farther and farther apart as time goes on. So all of her children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren got together to celebrate her life. Which was a great idea, but it was the beginning of a very long weekend.

This family dinner was at a bar/reception hall. 
Bars and our family tend to lead to some good stories.
I just didnt realize that I would become the story at this event.

I managed to get down 10 drinks without even realizing it.
My mother thinks I have reached alcoholic status.
I was buzzed when I left the bar with Julie, Gina, and my sister.
I handed over my keys to Julie while I managed to find a bottle of alcohol in my car.

(R to L: Me, Gina, and Julie)
Gina, my cousin who is 31 and still parties like a rock star, wanted to stop by a bar on the way back, but Julie put the kabosh on that idea.
Instead, we headed straight to my Aunt Karen's(Gina's mom) house.
A little back story on my aunt: Love her to death, but she loves order, cleanliness, and perfection. Gina is very much the black sheep of her family.

They took my alcohol away when I managed to get mud on my Aunt Karen's stairs,
Gina tried to get me to drink water, but I kept dropping the cup.
So I managed to break two plastic cups and get mud on the carpet of my Aunt's steps.

The night just got better when my Aunt Karen, Aunt Kathy, Uncle Leon, and Uncle Dan showed up at the house. Apparently, I was the entertainment for the night and I was hilarious.
Any good girl reputation that I had built up over the years was ruined in a single night.
Surprisingly, my aunt just laughed off the mess I made and made Gina clean it up.
I'm sure Gina was just glad that she finally had someone to make her look less bad.

Gina and Julie brought me home and was welcome by my roommate in a robe.
I insisted on multiple group hugs and they finally left me dead on my bed with an advil and a bottle of water on the night stand. 

The next morning was my Grandmother's funeral. 
I'm pretty sure I was still drunk for the majority of it.
I was sure the hot topic that morning and I'd like to believe that I added some comedy to what otherwise would have been a sad day.
On Sunday morning, our hot water heater went out and we were forced to find an alternative.
Victoria attempted to take a cold shower, but failed.
I texted Andy and told him that we were coming over to take a shower.
Victoria went in her robe and I went in my pajamas.
We arrived and Andy wasn't home....his mom was.
She laughed at us and let us use the shower.

That night I dragged Julie to dinner at our cousin Cody's apartment.
Dinner turned into a party.
I was a little worried that she wouldn't like our friend group, but I think she did okay.
She went from not wanting to drink to downing a few shots.

Sarah even called me out of the blue and ended up joining us!
Everything was going fine, until Victoria drank a little too much and got in a fight with a guy she was a very complicated relationship with.
I flipped a lid when I heard what happened and cussed Connor out.
I was pretty sober, but I don't even remember what I said to him, because I was so pissed off.
Victoria was a mess and it was time to go.

We went to drop Julie off and Victoria insisted she had to puke.
Guess where Julie was spending the night?!
My Aunt Karens!!
I physically had to prevent Victoria from puking in my Aunt's drive-way.
We then drove a block and she had to puke again.
I didn't care about who's yard she was puking in that time.

That was the first time I have ever seen Victoria puke after drinking.
I have never gotten drunk at a family event.
My poor cousins from out of state probably think we are alcoholics.
What a perfect weekend for the Rae and Victoria shit show to come to town.
Thank goodness that Julie loved Victoria and she has to love me.

I'm sure my Grandmother was proud...

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