Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Things I learned from my previous relationship

1. I have walls that I need to work on breaking down

I have a hard time getting emotionally attached to guys. I just don't want to get hurt and I hate being vulnerable. I'd like to blame my mother for always telling me, "Boys only want one thing" and walls are my way of weeding out those kind of boys, but really it's not completely her fault. I have such a deep love for the people in my life and it's easier to love my friends in that way, because I don't fear them walking out of my life. A guy could one day decide he was done and be gone. I guess my friends could do the same thing, but you know what I mean. So the walls go up and it allows me to have the upper hand. I need to work on breaking down those walls, instead of waiting for someone to do it for me.

2. Don't settle

So many people told me that Andy was a great guy, but what you saw is what you got. He's always going to be a small town guy that never ventures out and is content with what he has. He couldn't offer me what I truly wanted out of life and we both knew that, but it took a long time for us to admit it and go our separate ways. I think way to many people settle for someone, because they are afraid that the right person won't come along or that they won't find someone that fits into their timeline. I know it's easy to stay in a relationship, because you're afraid that when it's over, you'll have to figure out what happens next. I stayed with a guy ten months, because I liked having a safety net. Right now you think it would just be easier to stay put, but turning the page allows you to realize that there is so much more to the book than the page you're stuck on.

3. You'll find someone better 

How many times do you tell your friends after a break up that they will find someone better? I think people often use it as a way to belittle the ex and comfort their friends. I like to think about it as you will find someone that is better suited for you. Someone that is a better match or is more compatible. Unless, you really did date a piece of shit. Then belittle that person all you want, because you will find someone better in all definitions of that sayings!

4. It's okay to be sad

I broke up with Andy. I checked out of our relationship long before we broke up. I almost felt like it wasn't okay for me to be sad. I felt bad for listening to the song that was playing while we were breaking up a million times, while thinking about the memories we made. But no matter how the relationship ended you are allowed to be sad and you're allowed to miss the person. Take all the time you need to recover!

5. Determine what you want before jumping into another relationship

I will never understand those people that jump from one relationship into another and then wonder why they don't ever work out! Maybe, it's because you are bringing the same problems into every relationship and not allowing yourself to learn from your mistakes and make the necessary changes.

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