Cheryl talking to her 11 year old daughter Seven
Cheryl: You can try smoking when you are 18...or even Christianity! I wouldn't recommend either, but I won't stop you.
Cheryl after having a lot to drink and almost falling
Cheryl: The ground is very uneven...I'm not really fucked up.
Who names restaurants any way?
Victoria: We are going to Dicks.
Aaron: Well if you guys are getting dicks tonight I might not even see you until the morning.
This guy summed up our entire trip
Marina owner: Three girls just being young and foolish.
When you are driving on the highway and really get into the story you are telling...
Victoria: You're going 40mph and everyone is passing you.
Cameron: I'm telling a story man! Just let them pass me.
Typical plans for a night in Texas
Julie: I'm taking the dog for a walk, I'll call the police, and then we can go to dinner.
When this is how you are introduced to your cousins friend...
Jen: I brought snacks, because I heard you are high!
When you grew up during a time that Jessica Simpson was influential...
Jen: I'm not a smoker, but I'm addicted to these nicotine lozenges. I'm addicted to something that people use to get rid of their addiction, all because of Jessica Simpson.
When you are 30 years old and about to shot gun your first beer...
Jen: Should I wear a hat? Do I need a poncho?
When you drop a dollar and a drag queen see's it...
Kookie Baker: Bitch, get that dolla'!
When a wino tries to follow the law, but fails.
Pam: I really shouldn't be offering you this, but I've seen beer cans in your hands on Facebook. Would you like a small glass of wine? (15 minutes later) Can you get me another bottle of wine? I might let you have some more.